![]() Let us continue our reflection on the Living God. I did not yet know what the phrase “to tempt God” meant, but I understood that I would be reduced to dust if I opposed his will.Ī life of holiness lived after that shows that it was a real experience of God and not the imagination of a little girl. ![]() My legs were shaking, so I sat down in front of the closet mirror to see if it were really true and to catch my breath. I stood there with my mouth open, terrified by the effect of my words. I blamed all this on “the malice of grown-ups against children who were in their power.” Finally I could no longer wait and said, “God, if you exist and are truly all-powerful, button my clothes in back so that I can do down to the garden.” I had not finished saying those words when I found my clothes were buttoned. I was impatient and deplored the fact that my baby clothes buttoned in the back. One morning I was again waiting to be dressed. ![]() ![]() In my eyes my grandmother was far superior to these housekeepers, and yet the cook had said she was a pagan because she did not know God, and I had sensed it was a derogatory term. He is all-powerful and dwells in heaven.” I remained silent, but I said to myself, “He is the one I saw!” “Poor child,” said the cook to the other woman, “her grandmother is a pagan and is not teaching her these things!” Turning to me, she said, “God is the one who created heaven and earth, human beings, and animals. I was startled and asked, “God? Who is he?” intuiting that he was something mysterious. I did not speak to anyone of this event, but a short time later I heard the cook and another lady talking to each other about God. The leaves returned to their ordinary appearance, and to my great disappointment the linden tree, despite being bathed in the radiant light of a summer sun, seemed, when compared to its previous splendor, dark to me as if it were under a rainy sky. I was brought back to reality by a cold shiver that went through my body, and with great sadness I realized that the gaze and the smile had disappeared and that little by little the splendor of the tree was fading. It lasted a minute, a minute and a half-I don’t know-but for me it seemed like an eternity. My heart was beating wildly I felt the power of that love penetrate me, and I had the sensation of being loved in the most intimate part of my being. And my amazement increased when-I don’t know if it was with my physical eyes or not-at the center of that glistening I saw something like a gaze and a smile of inexpressible beauty and benevolence. I was more amazed than when I saw the first snowfall of my life. Every leaf, every branch, began to vibrate like flickering flames of a thousand candles. I was enthralled by its beauty when suddenly my attention was drawn by an unusual brilliance, an extraordinary whiteness. The rising sun was shining on the front of it. One morning while I was waiting in my room for someone to come dress me, I was looking at a large linden tree whose branches were spread out in front of the window. I was not quite four years old and I was at my grandmother’s countryside home. Her story made me think of Moses’ experience before the burning bush. But all graces belong to the Church, and for that reason I want to share them with you now that she is with the Lord. The authenticity of her experiences is confirmed by the fact that she carried them to her grave without ever speaking about them to anybody except her spiritual father. Once I received a letter from a person I was accompanying in her spiritual journey, a married woman who died some years ago. When it comes to the knowledge of living God, an experience is more valuable than many arguments, so I would like to begin this second meditation precisely with an experience.
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